Fill My Heart and Flood My Ears!!

Like I mentioned in "Mr. Small Town" recently something was said to me which changed my life forever! "I don't know why you go to church. It doesn't even work for you" still makes my bones shake. After I heard this I wasn't sure if I should cry of embarrassment or laugh at his pure stupidity...well I did BOTH but first I prayed. Yup, I prayed, THEN cried of embarrassment, and finally laughed at his stupidity and let me tell you exactly why.

I've always been told that prayer is a powerful thing. Of course I never actually thought about it, I just did it. I prayed that god would make my remote work because I was too lazy to go get new batteries. I would pray that my professor would dismiss class early because I wasn't sure how much longer I could stand listening to his monotone voice. Are you getting the picture? I wasn't praying correctly!! I was just talking to myself...LITERALLY. Now please don't think that's all I would ask for. I would pray for bigger things but the point I'm trying to make is I wasn't making an effort to build a closer relationship with God. That Sunday night boy did I pray!!! I prayed 'til I cried. I prayed that God would look into my sinful heart and help me, really help me be a better person with a godly heart. My crying led me to realize how much of a hypocrite I was and that, my friend, is absolutely embarrassing. What kind of Christian was I if people couldn't see the Christianity flowing out of me when I met or had a conversation with them? To me a good Christian lives and acts like God. You know...WWJD? I know we are humans and full of sins but what good is calling yourself a Christian if you don't even put forth an effort to act like one? I was mainly embarrassed because if one person could see that I didn't put much effort into living up to my Christian duties then everyone else did as well. Finally I laughed at his stupidity. I thought to myself and realized that Mr. Small Town was...well quite frankly he's an idiot. One day my judgment will come and Me, Myself, and I will have to answer to The Lord. My family and friends won't be there to say "Oh God ,no, she didn't mean to do that." I will have to testify for why I chose to live my life the way I did. In the end only God can judge me and that's a fact!! (Ecc 3:17; Romans 2:16)

So after going through my moment of reflection I started to think of ways in which I could live like a Christian and enhance my relationship with my heavenly father. Okay, I'm not gonna lie, first I Googled it. NO JOKE. Every day people post blogs just like this one expressing their views and beliefs so I thought maybe I would find an answer online. That didn't work. Then I was going through my collection of books and I found my The Purpose Driven Life: What on Earth Am I Here For? by Rick Warren and Princess Unaware: Finding the Fabulous in Every Day by Brenda Garrison. I decided to start the 10 week Princes Unaware program and I recommend it to every girl who is truly seeking God to work in their life every day. The next thing I wanted to do was limit what I listen to on the radio. I started to really think about what I listen to when I'm driving. I could either listen to some ridiculous rapper talking about drinking, sex, and drugs or I can listen to KLOVE (a fantastic national christian radio station here's the link: http://www.klove.com/listen/player.aspx). Of course I chose KLOVE. Throughout the day the station fills my heart and floods my ears with encouraging words and amazing songs that help me with my journey to the center of Gods unchanging, loving hands. I still listen to country music, by golly, I will never stop listening to country!!

I've decided that I desperately want to live for The Lord. I want people to look at me and think "Wow that girl's got Jesus". I don't want to ever wonder if I'm getting my golden ticket into heaven. I want to KNOW with pure confidence that when the conductor of the Heavenly Express stops in front of me I'll be on a one way trip to the gates of Heaven. Life is short and I don't want to live for anyone else but God.

Every day is a challenge and I find myself in some situations that are not so Christiany but I talk to God every morning and I ask him to help me make Godly decisions as I go about my day. I often repeat this quote from a song by Sanctus Real: "So Father, give me the strength to be everything I'm called to be, Oh Father, show me the way, Father, lead me 'cause I CAN'T do this alone" (listen to it NOW http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yLr6G8Xy5uc). With time I know I will be exactly where I want to be spiritually and my gosh, I'm really looking forward to that day. My Religion is very important to me and I will always put God first in everything I do. It is because of God that I have such a blessed life.

Peace and Blessings Y'all

xo

C.

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