Mr. Small Town

It's my second blog and yes, I'm gonna do it! I'm gonna talk about a boy y'all!

Now I know its super cliché but I'm gonna share a HORRIBLE experience and I'm gonna be totally honest with this. REMINDER I AM SHARING WHAT I WAS TOLD! IM NOT SURE IF THEY WERE LIES OR NOT...

Okay...here we go...

I am a 19 year old college student so of course I have all the answers. lol totally kidding!!

A little over a month ago I had started "talking" to a guy who was absolutely all wrong for me!! He is super country, down home, "lets drink a 24 pack of beer each", fishing, hunting, small town guy...that honestly should've been a red flag right there but me being a good Christian and on a quest to make some major changes in my life (will talk about  it in my next blog) decided to give him a chance. I wasn't trying to be the "fixer up" type or doing some sort of charity case. I just wanted to do something different. So I start talking to Mr. Small Town and he completely turns my life upside down. He did it in a weird way. In the short period of a month I found myself turning into the girl I always said I wouldn't be. I was making time to answer his calls and making sure I was available whenever I heard my phone ring. I know what you're thinking "HELLO CHRISTIAN THAT'S WHAT GIRLS DO" but correction Hun that's what desperate girls do. I'm not gonna lie, I LOVE attention and I really liked that he called me because I felt like I was in middle school again. Our phone calls were always about 3 hours long but I'm a selfish college girl. In 3 hours I could eat cookies, watch Grey's Anatomy, and bullshit an essay. My time is valuable!!

Okay, so let me transition to the actual phone calls. This Mr. Small Town was very manipulative and a bit extra. First of all he talked A LOT..a lot, a lot. I never was able to get a word in. NOT FAIR HUH? I like to talk but every conversation I would find myself just being a listener for 2 whole hours. again..RED FLAG!! Second he was the guy who tells you "oh I like you, I want to settle down but here's the E! True Hollywood Story of my Ex" UH NO!! WHAT ON EARTH MAKES YOU THINK I CARE ABOUT YOUR EX GIRLFRIEND? And finally every conversation would end up with my best friend being brought up. He would tell me all about her past relationship, he would remind me of a moment in my life that I am so desperately trying to forget, he would call her a liar, a bad friend, and suggest that she liked him and wanted to be with him. I found myself starting to question our friendship...again RED FLAG (SORRY AMIGA I LOVE YOU TO DEATH! IT WAS A MOMENT OF BAD JUDGMENT)

I was slowly turning into that girl who wants to make the relationship work so she does what she can to do so! I've NEVER been that girl. I'm the one who doesn't care what people think and live a life of Cupcakes and Rainbows (for the most part lol). Mr. Small Town was toxic!! Okay, yes he made me smile and a little happy but he is EVERYTHING I'm not!! He was very cocky and talked about how much he ran the whole county! He would constantly remind me of my rudeness and then he said something that I will honestly never forget and It has very much changed my life forever!! One Sunday night Mr. Small Town called me to say hey before he went fishing (so he said) and then he had the nerve to tell me "I don't know why you go to church. It doesn't even work for you"

LET ME TELL YOU RIGHT NOW!! I AM A YOUNG CHRISTIAN WOMAN. I AM VERY BLESSED AND ATTEND CHURCH ALMOST EVERY SUNDAY! I will absolutely be addressing this and writing about it more in my next blog.

His statement rocked me to my core. I felt so little for a good day and a half. ( I don't believe in depression) Whether he was kidding or being honest I will never know because that was the last time I talked to Mr. Small Town. I would like to personally thank him though. I don't care if he ever reads this; he probably won't but Thank You. Mr. Small Town you have changed my life in a very good way. I now know exactly what I want in life. I am so happy now and my relationship with God has gotten so much better. You were an eye opener and I am truly forever thankful.

 

Whoever reads this I would like to remind you not to ever change for someone else. I am 19 and very stuck in my ways. I want to tell you that I am a strong believer in prayer and like my momma told me; "Even if you are just "friends" with a guy say a prayer and put it in God's hands because he knows what's best for you"

xoxo

C.

 and go follow me on twitter y'all @chisleighh